Peace Out

The fireworks have been blown, the balloons have dropped, and the two parties have officially nominated the candidates that we knew they would nominate months ago.

But, it wasn't all pointless. We learned that CNN has more money than God. That workspaces at both conventions were not without their charms. That people love Hillary and that bears probably don't like Sarah. That protesters can be universally obnoxious. That journalists really are impacted by inclement weather. That pirates live among us. That The Beach Boys are still alive. That swag isn't all it's cracked up to be. And, that malls named after America are really big.

A big shout-out to my three commenters and twenty readers. I've really enjoyed this and will remember you all when I become a rich and famous blogger.

Now, it's time to get the hell out of this partisan storm of wonks and political hacks and back to DC.

Peace Out.

Who never ever learned to read or write so well...

McCain's theme song for most rallys and whatnot is "Johnny B. Goode" by Chuck Berry. Mr. Berry isn't so impressed.


For me, this song will forever be associated with Marty McFly ripping on the electric guitar in the Enchanment Under the Sea Dance. Sorry Johnny.

Freaks and Geeks

Welcome to the circus that is the area surrounding the Xcel Center.

I'm not quite sure I understand their map. They offered to give me some free literature on the subject, but I passed.

Here's something fun. On the back it had a picture of John McCain holding a dead fetus. Not kidding. And, the Hawaii delegation watches it all from afar.

Pearls of Wisdom from Rep. Marsha Blackburn

Earlier this evening, from the podium:


"Last night, for the first time in a long time, millions like me whispered to themselves, 'thank God, someone finally gets it.' We heard a voice that spoke with the accent of real America, not the washed-out, mainstream TV-speak that sometimes soothes the soul, but never solves the problem."

Yeah man. Those accents never solve anything.

Where the Elephants Roam

With only one day (praise Jesus!) left in the convention, I guess I should post some pictures of our RNC workspace.

They really rolled out the red ($360) carpet for us here.

This time, instead of working in a freezing tent, we're in a freezing gymnasium. Also, the overhead lights have gone from non-existent, to interrogation-bright. I believe I've lost all sense of time.

Here's a handy map of the Xcel Center complex. It's not handy at all because the complex is actually more of a giant maze and not one of the 4,000 volunteers wondering around here have any idea where anything is.

A view of a another gymnasium-type workspace adjacent to ours. The random car down there is some sort of promotional thing. The journalists walking by it can barely afford bikes, so I'm not sure it was the most brilliant marketing strategy.

The convention floor. This is the view from the press stand.

Tomorrow, all of these balloons will fall on John McCain's head.

And, finally: proof that I'm actually here (and that St. Paul is windy).

It's Time (ha ha) for Joe Klein and Steve Schmidt to Take This Outside

Joe Klein is pissed. I suppose with good reason. The McCain campaign has spent the past few days freaking out about the media's coverage of the whole Palin thing. And, they've decided that the best way to make the press fall in line is to shame them into it:

"So what's going on here? Two things. McCain is just plain angry at us. By the evidence presented in the utterly revealing Time interview, he's ballistic. This is a politician who needs to see himself as the man on the white horse, boldly traversing a muddy field...any intimations that he's gotten muddied in the process, or has decided to throw mud, are intolerable.

The second thing is more insidious: Steve Schmidt has decided, for tactical reasons, to slime the press. He wants the public to believe that there is an unfair--sexist (you gotta love it)--personal assault going on against Palin and her family. This is a smokescreen, intended to divert attention from the very real and responsible vetting that is taking place in the media--about the substance of Palin's record as mayor and governor."

I don't know if Joe Klein is actually reporting from St. Paul, but if he is; Schmidt better watch his back.

It's Palin Time!

Do you think she'll field-dress a moose on the podium?


That would be awesome.

MSNBC: Bring It.

It seems I missed a quality poster yesterday as I was taking blurry pictures of the MSNBC set:

So, Olbermann and Matthews are running on a joint ticket now?

UPDATE: Looks like Olbermann had better things to do this week than campaign for the MSNBC presidency.

The CNN Grill Episode 2: Blitzer Strikes Back

Well, they shipped the CNN Grill and all their fancy neon signs over to St. Paul. Don't ask me how they did it. I'm too tired to care.


I took this shot is from the inside of the security zone, thus making the Grill look like even more of a fortress.



MSNBC just can't compete. They've got a tent in a park somewhere and a couple of cameras:



Fight on Chris Matthews. Fight on.

I Get Around

The GOP had a truncated schedule yesterday due to Gustav, and I finished work early. I have zero VIP connections, but a friend does. So, we made our way over to Minneapolis to check out a fancy Republican party and a fancy Republican concert.

The party had fresh-baked cookies and a flag in my Diet Coke. Conservatives: God love em'.

Then, it was on to the concert. Can you guess who was playing?

Yep. I have video proof. Brian Wilson was there, John Stamos was not. But that didn't keep the (largely white, male and older) crowd from partying like it was 1969. The first concert I ever went to was a Beach Boys concert. As I was ten at the time, I don't remember much about it, but I'm guessing the set list hasn't changed much over the years. They rocked it out.

I heard a story about a party at the DNC Convention that ended with an impromptu duet of "Gold Digger" starring Kanye West and Jamie Foxx. Poor Republicans - The Beach Boys are about as hip as they get.

America: F*ck Yeah!

Before all the drama yesterday involving my laptop and a hurricane, I had a chance to check out our our nation's capital: The Mall of America.

At one time, this was the biggest mall in the US. I'm not sure if it still is, but according to their website: "Mall of America is big enough to hold 32 Boeing 747s." Sweet.


I also have distinct childhood memories of watching a travel documentary (showcase?) about the mall. A mecca of capitalism. And, it has an amusement park! Inside!!


It really is massive. And kind of your worst nightmare -screaming children, large Midwestern tourists, pre-teen girls -all swarming through the shops and restaurants.

The mall shops span the perimeter of the amusement park. I think it's a mile walk to get around the whole thing.

Unfortunately, I won't be here for "Scrapfest'08."

My store! Surprisingly, I didn't see a "Short Girl" shop.

A Perfect Storm

Sunday, August 31, 2008

2:30pm: At the workspace.

2:45pm: My computer won't start.

3:00pm: GOP Briefing on convention schedule changes due to Hurricane Gustav.

3:15pm: It's official: my hard drive has crashed.

3:20pm: It's official: the GOP will have a limited convention schedule Monday with no speakers.

4:00pm: Bureau Chief and additional correspondents arrive in Minneapolis.

4:30pm: At Best Buy. They'll fix it by 7:00pm. For $400.

5:00pm: Pick up correspondent at the workspace.

5:30pm: Back at the hotel.

6:00pm: All correspondents go to workspace. I go to Best Buy.

6:15pm: At Best Buy. Not fixed yet.

7:00pm: Best Buy is closing. Must come back in the morning.

7:45pm: At the workspace.

8:00pm: Leaving the workspace with correspondents to get dinner.

8:30pm: Correspondents order sake.

8:31pm: I'm the designated driver for the night.

11:00pm: Correspondents are on their fourth sake.

11:30pm: Restaurant stops serving alcohol. Bureau Chief is heartbroken.

12:10pm: In bed at the hotel. Watching VHI reality TV show on celebrity stylist contest.

12:15pm: Show is a bad version of Project Runway. Turn off TV. Sleep.

Monday, September 1, 2008

9:00am: Alarm goes off.

9:20am: Get out of bed. Turn on CNN. Gustav expected to hit land within hours.

9:45am: Leave hotel for Best Buy.

10:00am: Computer is ready. It's fixed!

10:15am: Coffee.

10:45am: Back at the workspace.

10:50am: Check email. Japanese PM Fukuda has resigned. CNN has no coverage; Gustav 24/7.

11:18am: "Sarah and Todd Palin issued the following statement regarding today's Reuters story"

11:19am: What Reuters story?

11:20am: Oh. That one.

11:30am: Coworker in DC says Palin's daughter "pulled a Juno."

1:00pm: Buy a $7.00 vegetarian wrap.

1:10pm: Pass Chuck Todd in the hallway. He is flanked by five or six assistants.

2:00pm: CNN forces its correspondents in Louisiana to report outside in the storm.

2:09pm: Anderson Cooper nearly hit by piece of flying cardboard. Ratings must be through the roof.