Peace Out

The fireworks have been blown, the balloons have dropped, and the two parties have officially nominated the candidates that we knew they would nominate months ago.

But, it wasn't all pointless. We learned that CNN has more money than God. That workspaces at both conventions were not without their charms. That people love Hillary and that bears probably don't like Sarah. That protesters can be universally obnoxious. That journalists really are impacted by inclement weather. That pirates live among us. That The Beach Boys are still alive. That swag isn't all it's cracked up to be. And, that malls named after America are really big.

A big shout-out to my three commenters and twenty readers. I've really enjoyed this and will remember you all when I become a rich and famous blogger.

Now, it's time to get the hell out of this partisan storm of wonks and political hacks and back to DC.

Peace Out.

Who never ever learned to read or write so well...

McCain's theme song for most rallys and whatnot is "Johnny B. Goode" by Chuck Berry. Mr. Berry isn't so impressed.


For me, this song will forever be associated with Marty McFly ripping on the electric guitar in the Enchanment Under the Sea Dance. Sorry Johnny.

Freaks and Geeks

Welcome to the circus that is the area surrounding the Xcel Center.

I'm not quite sure I understand their map. They offered to give me some free literature on the subject, but I passed.

Here's something fun. On the back it had a picture of John McCain holding a dead fetus. Not kidding. And, the Hawaii delegation watches it all from afar.

Pearls of Wisdom from Rep. Marsha Blackburn

Earlier this evening, from the podium:


"Last night, for the first time in a long time, millions like me whispered to themselves, 'thank God, someone finally gets it.' We heard a voice that spoke with the accent of real America, not the washed-out, mainstream TV-speak that sometimes soothes the soul, but never solves the problem."

Yeah man. Those accents never solve anything.

Where the Elephants Roam

With only one day (praise Jesus!) left in the convention, I guess I should post some pictures of our RNC workspace.

They really rolled out the red ($360) carpet for us here.

This time, instead of working in a freezing tent, we're in a freezing gymnasium. Also, the overhead lights have gone from non-existent, to interrogation-bright. I believe I've lost all sense of time.

Here's a handy map of the Xcel Center complex. It's not handy at all because the complex is actually more of a giant maze and not one of the 4,000 volunteers wondering around here have any idea where anything is.

A view of a another gymnasium-type workspace adjacent to ours. The random car down there is some sort of promotional thing. The journalists walking by it can barely afford bikes, so I'm not sure it was the most brilliant marketing strategy.

The convention floor. This is the view from the press stand.

Tomorrow, all of these balloons will fall on John McCain's head.

And, finally: proof that I'm actually here (and that St. Paul is windy).

It's Time (ha ha) for Joe Klein and Steve Schmidt to Take This Outside

Joe Klein is pissed. I suppose with good reason. The McCain campaign has spent the past few days freaking out about the media's coverage of the whole Palin thing. And, they've decided that the best way to make the press fall in line is to shame them into it:

"So what's going on here? Two things. McCain is just plain angry at us. By the evidence presented in the utterly revealing Time interview, he's ballistic. This is a politician who needs to see himself as the man on the white horse, boldly traversing a muddy field...any intimations that he's gotten muddied in the process, or has decided to throw mud, are intolerable.

The second thing is more insidious: Steve Schmidt has decided, for tactical reasons, to slime the press. He wants the public to believe that there is an unfair--sexist (you gotta love it)--personal assault going on against Palin and her family. This is a smokescreen, intended to divert attention from the very real and responsible vetting that is taking place in the media--about the substance of Palin's record as mayor and governor."

I don't know if Joe Klein is actually reporting from St. Paul, but if he is; Schmidt better watch his back.

It's Palin Time!

Do you think she'll field-dress a moose on the podium?


That would be awesome.

MSNBC: Bring It.

It seems I missed a quality poster yesterday as I was taking blurry pictures of the MSNBC set:

So, Olbermann and Matthews are running on a joint ticket now?

UPDATE: Looks like Olbermann had better things to do this week than campaign for the MSNBC presidency.

The CNN Grill Episode 2: Blitzer Strikes Back

Well, they shipped the CNN Grill and all their fancy neon signs over to St. Paul. Don't ask me how they did it. I'm too tired to care.


I took this shot is from the inside of the security zone, thus making the Grill look like even more of a fortress.



MSNBC just can't compete. They've got a tent in a park somewhere and a couple of cameras:



Fight on Chris Matthews. Fight on.

I Get Around

The GOP had a truncated schedule yesterday due to Gustav, and I finished work early. I have zero VIP connections, but a friend does. So, we made our way over to Minneapolis to check out a fancy Republican party and a fancy Republican concert.

The party had fresh-baked cookies and a flag in my Diet Coke. Conservatives: God love em'.

Then, it was on to the concert. Can you guess who was playing?

Yep. I have video proof. Brian Wilson was there, John Stamos was not. But that didn't keep the (largely white, male and older) crowd from partying like it was 1969. The first concert I ever went to was a Beach Boys concert. As I was ten at the time, I don't remember much about it, but I'm guessing the set list hasn't changed much over the years. They rocked it out.

I heard a story about a party at the DNC Convention that ended with an impromptu duet of "Gold Digger" starring Kanye West and Jamie Foxx. Poor Republicans - The Beach Boys are about as hip as they get.

America: F*ck Yeah!

Before all the drama yesterday involving my laptop and a hurricane, I had a chance to check out our our nation's capital: The Mall of America.

At one time, this was the biggest mall in the US. I'm not sure if it still is, but according to their website: "Mall of America is big enough to hold 32 Boeing 747s." Sweet.


I also have distinct childhood memories of watching a travel documentary (showcase?) about the mall. A mecca of capitalism. And, it has an amusement park! Inside!!


It really is massive. And kind of your worst nightmare -screaming children, large Midwestern tourists, pre-teen girls -all swarming through the shops and restaurants.

The mall shops span the perimeter of the amusement park. I think it's a mile walk to get around the whole thing.

Unfortunately, I won't be here for "Scrapfest'08."

My store! Surprisingly, I didn't see a "Short Girl" shop.

A Perfect Storm

Sunday, August 31, 2008

2:30pm: At the workspace.

2:45pm: My computer won't start.

3:00pm: GOP Briefing on convention schedule changes due to Hurricane Gustav.

3:15pm: It's official: my hard drive has crashed.

3:20pm: It's official: the GOP will have a limited convention schedule Monday with no speakers.

4:00pm: Bureau Chief and additional correspondents arrive in Minneapolis.

4:30pm: At Best Buy. They'll fix it by 7:00pm. For $400.

5:00pm: Pick up correspondent at the workspace.

5:30pm: Back at the hotel.

6:00pm: All correspondents go to workspace. I go to Best Buy.

6:15pm: At Best Buy. Not fixed yet.

7:00pm: Best Buy is closing. Must come back in the morning.

7:45pm: At the workspace.

8:00pm: Leaving the workspace with correspondents to get dinner.

8:30pm: Correspondents order sake.

8:31pm: I'm the designated driver for the night.

11:00pm: Correspondents are on their fourth sake.

11:30pm: Restaurant stops serving alcohol. Bureau Chief is heartbroken.

12:10pm: In bed at the hotel. Watching VHI reality TV show on celebrity stylist contest.

12:15pm: Show is a bad version of Project Runway. Turn off TV. Sleep.

Monday, September 1, 2008

9:00am: Alarm goes off.

9:20am: Get out of bed. Turn on CNN. Gustav expected to hit land within hours.

9:45am: Leave hotel for Best Buy.

10:00am: Computer is ready. It's fixed!

10:15am: Coffee.

10:45am: Back at the workspace.

10:50am: Check email. Japanese PM Fukuda has resigned. CNN has no coverage; Gustav 24/7.

11:18am: "Sarah and Todd Palin issued the following statement regarding today's Reuters story"

11:19am: What Reuters story?

11:20am: Oh. That one.

11:30am: Coworker in DC says Palin's daughter "pulled a Juno."

1:00pm: Buy a $7.00 vegetarian wrap.

1:10pm: Pass Chuck Todd in the hallway. He is flanked by five or six assistants.

2:00pm: CNN forces its correspondents in Louisiana to report outside in the storm.

2:09pm: Anderson Cooper nearly hit by piece of flying cardboard. Ratings must be through the roof.

Swag

Well, we've moved all our stuff into our workspace in St. Paul. We also broke the rules and successfully smuggled in water and snacks. The GOP wants us to spend $3.50 on a bottle of water from their catering company. Um, do we look like we're made of money?

After we organized our workspace we picked up our convention credentials. Along with the credentials, they gave us these bags full of free stuff. The Democrats had one too. Let's see what's inside, shall we?


Lots of papers, advertisements, coupons...

...and a free condom!?? From the GOP?!? Actually, it's a sugar packet. I don't get it either.

The always popular "NWA World Traveler Magazine" with John McCain and two other random guys.* I don't even read this magazine when I'm flying with NWA and they have a captive audience. By the way - how great is Northwest Airlines' acronym "NWA"? Gives the cover a whole new meaning.


And finally: possibly the best free macaroni and cheese I've ever received. They're in the shape of elephants!

*It's Sen. Norm Coleman (up against comedian Al Franken this year) and Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty (he was on McCain's VP shortlist).

On a Jet Plane

I'm unlikely to be blogging for the next day or two. We are headed to even more glamorous Minneapolis/St. Paul for the GOP Convention, where I have to set up our workspace/credentials/access to coffee all over again.

I'm looking forward to working in a place with indoor plumbing.

Smell ya later Democrats!

I Think I'm Going to Miss the Democrats

This Made Our Night

It's our competitor's paper. And, the headline tonight reads something like this: "Obama Accepts the Nomination on the Anniversary of Dr. King's Death."

Hmm. Not quite. One of my co-workers printed out copies for everyone here and highlighted the headline. Do you think this is what the New York Times does when the Washington Post fucks up? I'd like to think so.

UPDATE: Well, it could have been worse.

Lines for Obama

This afternoon, as I was making my 3rd walk of the day from the parking garage to our workspace, I snapped a few photos of the crazy-ass line to get into Invesco.

That's the parking garage on the left. On the right is a shit-ton of hope mongers.

It's hard to see, but the line runs behind that row of cars. It's a long, long road to Invesco.

There are always long lines at Obama events due to a combination of heavy security and the popularity of the candidate. However, this was Obama line x 100.

A Quick Tour of the CNNopolis

This is where Anderson Cooper eats his lunch. It's also where CNN broadcasts the majority of their convention coverage from.
Does it depress me that their neon sign probably cost more than my annual salary? A little.

They even made decals for the windows. Bravo CNN. That's some impressive branding.

This is probably the biggest slap in the face to us lowly print journalists. "Private until 3PM? Yay! Let's go kick it with John King tonigh.... oh wait, never mind."

The Barackopolis

McCain press guy Brian Rogers sent out an interesting "Campaign Memo" yesterday. These memos are usually desperate attempts to set (low) expectations for whatever McCain campaign event is coming up and to generally kick Obama in the nuts (electronically).

This one was a little different:

To: Interested Parties
From: Brian Rogers, Deputy Communications Director
Date: August 27, 2008
Re: Proper Attire For The Temple Of Obama (“The Barackopolis”)

Today, workers at Invesco Field are putting the final touches on the newest wonder of the modern political world -- The Temple of Obama (“The Barackopolis”). It is upon this pulpit that Barack Obama will tomorrow night address thousands of screaming, adoring fans. There may be some confusion among the press about the venue and appropriate dress code for Barack Obama's big speech. To help out, we wanted to provide the following tips on appropriate attire. The toga may have gone out of style centuries ago, but after Obama's temple speech tomorrow night, they’re sure to be flying off the racks.

And then he attaches some pictures of different toga styles with captions. A little lame, but hey, it's the Republicans here. They aren't exactly known for their sparkling satire.

Anyway, on my long walk to the media tents this morning, I ran into these guys. It appears they've taken Rogers's joke one step further:

2:1 odds says they actually do have a toga party tonight.

Happy Hour

One of the cons of working in the tents is that we live in an icebox. One of the pros is that there's an open bar:Yeah, I'm not kidding. Captain Morgan sponsored this lounge/bar area in our tent. It's pretty nice. Sofas, snacks and all the alcohol you can drink.

The thing is - the bar is only open when the convention is in session. This is when I (and most journalists) are working. It closes the moment they slam that gavel on the podium.

What. A. Tease.

On the plus side, they gave us T-shirts...

...which we are using to stay warm. I'd rather have a complimentary gin and tonic do that job.

The Captain himself has been seen wondering the area. I'm kicking myself for not getting a picture earlier this week (like Wonkette did). As I was grabbing my free Diet Coke just now I asked the bartender if she expected an apperance today. She cryptically repiled that the Captain "and his entourage" (?) show up on their own time. Ah, Pirates.

Hill Takes the Stand

Last night my colleague and I headed over to our press seats in the Pepsi Center to watch Sen. Clinton's speech. It will be the only time I spend inside the convention hall among the partisans and media circus this week. Tonight I'm in the tents with the towels. Tomorrow, two of our correspondents head to Invesco and the rest of us party it up with Captain Morgan (more on that later).

I was lucky that this was my night in the Hall. The frenzied media speculation about Hill's speech had reached a fevered pitch and there was an electric feeling of anticipation in the air. Would she be gracious and supportive? Would we believe it? Would Chris Matthews's head explode from the excitement of it all?*

The view from the press stands affords an excellent view of the audience, and zero view of the speaker. But no matter. I've seen Hillary speak live enough times to know that she'll be wearing a pantsuit of some color, and will talk about health care or a village or something.

Anyway, the reaction of the audience was pretty crazy. These people LOVE her:

And they say Obama is a rock star.

*It has to happen sooner or later.

The Donkeys

Monday, representatives from the DNC stole our workspace. Well, they didn't steal it so much as mistakenly believe it was their own. How this happened is a mystery, considering that although we hadn't yet arrived at the tents, all our stuff was out. Stuff that wasn't written in English.

And yet...

The friendly DNC Press guy (I hesitate to use the word "officer" as I can't imagine him occupying a role of any real significance) walked up to me and introduced himself. Confused, he asked me if I was using one of the desks in our workspace. Equally confused, I told him that yes, that desk is ours. Then, he turned to a pile of boxes in the corner. Yep, those are ours too.

At this point, I don't think either of us were sure where this conversation was going.

"Was there something I can help you with?" I asked.

Then, it clicked. He sheepishly admitted that he and his colleague "were told" that our workspace was theirs.

The damage? They gave away one of our lamps to a reporter complaining about the light in the tents (which was quickly returned). They took two of our bottled waters (which were not returned). And, they turned on the TV.

All-in-all a perfect example of the DNC. Well-intentioned, good ideas, a little clueless.

Does the WSJ Hate Michelle Obama?

Because -seriously- this is the worst photo ever:

Her tongue is sticking out for Christ's sake. And poor Sasha just looks bored. Cute, but bored.

Freezing Us Out

These...

...are the current bain of our existence here in the Media Pavilions. Sure, during the day they keep the tents cool in the 90-something degree Denver heat. But when nightfall hits, these suckers stay on, and arctic climates take over.

Nuts to that.

My bureau chief actually attempted to prop open the doors last night to bring in some much-needed heat to the tents. I wonder what the DNCC would have to say about us air-conditioning the Denver night.

We were so desperate for warmth during coverage last night that one of our correspondents went to K Mart to buy us blankets.

Unfortunately, blankets were too expensive, so he bought Martha Stewart towels instead. It's a good thing.

You Got the Right One Baby

Is it a coincidence that Obama's logo looks a lot like Pepsi's?

Because I think the P.U.M.A.'s could cry conspiracy on Pepsi and the Obama campaign for rigging the election to ensure this perfect confluence of brand names.